First of all, let me say that this post is
nothing about how desperate I am for some junior to ask me “mas hendro mau
kemana ?” . trust me, if I someday in the future I make that kind of post, I
might as well be dead at the moment.
About my future is what it is.
f the question being asked is “ Mas Hendro mau
kemana ? ” then if it goes to what I want then the answer is perfectly clear.
Artdicted Studio. My genius-precious-handsome creative studio. That’s where I
want to go. That’s what I want to do. That’s the future I choose to have.
But then, it’s just what I want. And I can’t
possibly living just under the term of what I want. There are thousands of
factors that need to be added. Factors that make me feel that it’s not
currently possible to do as I want.
So then I asked again to myself, “ Mas Hendro
mau kemana ? “
Yeah, being graduated is never mean you have
what it takes to face the real world. The cruel world where most of people
think about themselves. The cruel world where dreams are killed and Passions
are prohibited. The cruel world, where you mostly can’t get what you want.
Being graduated to me means, I’m in trouble !
I can no longer live freely as I want. I can no
longer just live under my parents funding. I have responsibilities now. And
it’s not just to study. Now, I have to make my own living but I also need to
pursue my dreams. You see ? I’m using the word “But”, that means those two
choices happen to be on a different paths. So then it leaves me with questions,
Mas Hendro Mau Kemana ?
Being with Artdicted Studio is the path for me
to pursue my dreams. But as of the moments, Artdicted Studio has not grown
enough to help me make my own living. As to make my own living, I need to work
somewhere else, which means I have to leave my dreams for quite a long time and
possibly forever if then I’m stuck with my Job or with the situations where I’m
no longer the only one to be taken care of, because there is also my family.
See how complicated that last sentence is ?
That’s nothing compared to the situations in my head.
I always hated people who live only to make a
living. You know, stuck with their Job, waking up at 5 AM to prepare themselves
for their lame Job they hated but have to do for eight to nine hours before
they can get home at 5 PM and stuck in the same traffic and chaos as they
already had in the morning when they go to work, everyday. Well now, I’m faced
with the same possibilities, and I’m afraid I will fall for it.
People afraid of snakes, dark, or ghosts, and I’m
afraid of being Corporate Junkie.
I want to be able to live as I want everyday
and make a living from it. I want to be able to wake up at different time
everyday, making film or music when it pleases me, design some stuffs, posters
or buildings as I believe is good. Go to Venice, Raja Ampat, Gobi Desert or God
knows where when I’m bored with all of my works. I want to help people who are marginalized , I
want to help those kids I see asking for moneys at the crossroads everyday, I
want to make this world better, Influence people with messages I send trough my
works. But most of all, I want to always be me. I want to wake up every morning
and still remember what I want. To still remember what I am and who I am, every
time I look myself at the mirror.
If there is a way to have everything as I
mentioned, That will be the answer of, Mas Hendro Mau Kemana ?
